These two poems were written when I was down and out in life for two reasons. I was depressed about the real state of my life. Nothing was going very well for me in life.
b) I was depressed about the existential state of my life. After my intense search, I had to give up all those many beliefs and conditionings that I held dear to me. So I was nowhere. If you believe in a religion or something else you feel secure. But if you realise the fruitlessness of such beliefs and let them go, you feel damn insecure. You are nowhere. To live in that borderline is depressing.
Dark Night of the Soul
The evenings burst and fade
The migratory birds silently trace the skies
The nights are comas or demi-hells
The mornings descend too soon
The pungent days drag on
The butterflies flutter a moment
The rainbows startle the heavens
The universe expands beyond reach.
Existence is anaesthetised, drugged
Nights intrude on days and days barge into nights
Evenings merge into mornings
And the morns melt into evenings.
Too many complexities to think clearly
Or to stop thinking
The demon in control
Life loses energy to live
Death plays shadow games
Reality mingles with dreams
The dreamer becomes a dream
Borderlines of vagueness
Semi-conscious myths populate psyche.
Another Dark Night of the Soul (12th Jan 1997 )
Darkness sags heavily
Nothing is certain
The grey mist of confusion
Devours my mind
The vague tunnels
Of the illusory past
Reveal the mistakes I made
At the -crossroads
But where they mistakes
And crossroads at all?
I wish I could slip out
Of this darkness
Like a wisp of light
disappearing into thin air!
I am much impressed by the imagery. As for the 'experience' from where the 'expression' comes, I can't help feel jealous of mystics like you. Wonder if any experience of the 'unknowable' and the 'timeless' is in store for me at some time--in the future. Hareesh
ReplyDeleteHareesh,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment. I'd rather say that the experience was momentary and psychologists would call it hallucination or the mind playing games or creating this experience. I don't think it was anything like a profound mystical experience. I believe that it was my thoughts creating the feeling of oneness. Anyway, I really don't know as our mind is capable of playing many tricks. Wish u the best for a profound experience!